"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

When we left Zambia we had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA just how tough this was going to be. We were over the initial shock and very busy and clinging to God and thought all was moving forward and getting better and…
Wow-what a wakeup call once we actually got here. Reading through our blog, we presented way more positive and accepting than what we were actually feeling. That first month back in the States, we were really just barely surviving.
We seemed to get over a hump at MTI in November, but then it started going downhill again around Christmas. I have to wonder, did our prayer support drop? I am sure it did. We were back, we looked like we were doing okay, we weren’t sending out prayer requests; did that make all the difference? Did we lose some of our undergirding and that is why we hit such lows? I don’t know; but in the past there were very clearly times when we felt your prayers…or not. When we were able to pray for ourselves…or not. (I am not trying to “get after” anyone here, just thinking aloud)

But I also look back and wonder now-was it as bad as I thought? Was it just the emotions bogging us down, the feelings, the body chemistry things? Because even during that time, we were still hearing from God when we could settle down and listen and were able to write some words for you, and for ourselves, and even minister to a few others who were hurting in their own ways.

No comments: