If we were truthful, many of us at some point have said to ourselves we wouldn’t actually mind having some “big” thing happen to us- something not too major, but still a big deal-so our faith would be strengthened. It is silly we know, and dangerous I am learning! Honestly, I have had these types of thoughts. If I (or a kid) had this sickness, I would draw so close to God, I would… If God took this away from us, I would…
It feels like I am getting my wish sometimes. And if I wanted some “big” thing to happen in life, and it now has, why aren’t I doing what I thought I would? (or am I?) What aren’t I in a sense “happy” about it? You got what you asked for, why should anybody feel anything for you?