"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Friday, August 31, 2007


Since Brian shared his story, I figured I’d better share mine too. I grew up in a church-going family, went to bible camp each summer, church when we had to…Nothing too exciting. One summer at camp I asked Jesus into my heart. I remember crying a lot, but that’s about it. I told the gals in my cabin who were of course excited for me.
I lived two different lives throughout high school and part of bible school too. I had the “I’m a Christian” summers and retreats, but mostly I lived the very carnal life of sin. I allowed myself to fall into alcohol and some of the weaknesses that come with that. I was a good actress when I needed to be.
But I always wanted MORE. I thought, I knew, there was suppose to be more to my Christian walk, but I had no one to disciple me in it. I was, and unfortunately still am, very selfish. I want things to go my way-this has developed into perfectionism, which I still struggle with to this day. With no one to walk with me and the reputation I was developing, I needed a lot of encouragement to my self-esteem, and I was finding it in the wrong places with the wrong people. I don’t want to elaborate on my past, I am ever so thankful that Christ died to take that away, that God will cast it as far as the east is from the west!
Brian and I met at bible school, we were quite a pair! My actress skills mostly worked there, I was considered one of the good kids. We fell into sin. There is no place where satan can’t find you, attack you. I knew there was MORE then too, I just didn’t know how to obtain it.
I don’t have a big change moment. Life has just gradually brought times, people, and circumstances into my life where I have had to deal with sin. Some I still struggle with, having to make a daily choice to walk in the way of the Lord, to let His life be manifest in me. I got involved in MOPS, found some good friends, finally got in an environment where I could learn to be the wife, woman, mother, servant God wanted me to be. It was an opportunity where I could use the gifts God had given me and find the affirmation that I desperately needed.
Sad to say it, but I was still pretty selfish and near oblivious to what was going on with Brian, at least to what degree it was affecting him. Yes there was a stormy time in our marriage, but I don’t remember thinking it was much more than a bad patch we had to work through.
One huge area that I have had to work through/on is letting Brian be the head of our household. I am somewhat of a controller, to put it mildly! I don’t like not knowing what’s going on and being involved in the going-ons. I have prayed about this a lot, I have read a lot, but mostly I have just had to do it. And God has richly blessed us because of it. I am learning to completely trust in his leadership for our family, and by doing that, am learning to trust more and more in God.
One of my spiritual gifts is the gift of faith. I have always know if God says He’ll do it, He WILL do it. And I know He will do it in His time, in His way. That doesn’t mean I don’t try it my way sometimes though! God has tested me (us) on this many times. Our adoption with Joseph, the struggles with him here, and now going into the mission field. It wasn’t too long ago that I remember feeling I needed, no I WANTED, to have to trust God more. There was that feeling of wanting and knowing there was supposed to be more again! It wasn’t but a few weeks later, and missions was on our radar! Should the lesson be, be careful what you pray for?! No way! Where else could I, would I want to be?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Now to test my memory… Back in ‘02, I was what I would call a carnal Christian, I had my fire insurance and that was it. I had allowed satan to bind me spiritually. He had been selling me lies most of my life and I was buying ever one, thus rendering me inept and ineffective spiritually. I was not the spiritual leader of my family; I had left that to my wife (which is sin). God has called us men to be the spiritual head and we will be held accountable to God for that! I knew I was not living the way I was supposed to. The hole of sin I had dug was huge, I had spent my whole life digging it and I was pretty good at it.
Satan had got a hold of me at the ripe old age of 10 years old. That was the first time I saw a pornographic magazine. To this day I can tell you exactly where I was and what was going on. I remember the exact moment. The only way I can describe it is a switch being flipped or a door being opened that was not to be opened. Satan had me; he showered me with guilt, shame, self hatred, and told me that I could not tell anyone because I was the only one. You can imagine the constant conflict taking place. As I grew and become a young man, I chose the wrong path; I tried to escape my pain in all the usual ways of the world (alcohol, drugs, porn, cutting), when the only way to escape the pain is to be set free from it through the power of Jesus Christ. I grew up in church but I thought I was the only one screwed up (another lie). I believe one of the reasons the church in America is dying is because so many men in the church are living in bondage to sin (like pornography). These things need to be brought to the light.
When I look back, I’m amazed at how involved God was in my life. He never left me. He was constantly trying to draw me back into relationship with Him. I believe He wept over me many times as any father would over his prodigal son. He brought people into my life that to this day continue to pray for me. And he gave me parents who never wrote me off but prayed for me.
After high school, work and money became my god for three years, until I burnt myself out. Some would say God lead me to Bible school. I see it more that He drove me to Bible School.
Remember, I was a guy deep in sin. Bible school was not my first choice, but I wanted a vacation, a place to relax. I clearly remember feeling lead in this direction, and I didn’t particularly like it. But once again God had a plan. One particular weekend home I was talking to a certain prayer warrior. She informed me she was praying that I would meet my wife-to-be at school. Well, in all my worldly wisdom, I informed her that there were a lot more important things to be praying about and for others too. She proceeded to “rip me a new one” and rightfully so! She also informed me that “she will pray for whatever and whomever she wants and God WILL answer her prayer.” Three weeks later, I brought home Kelly. She still reminds me of it from time to time! Boy was I a fool!
A year later Kelly and I were married. Things were pretty stormy early in our marriage. By year three I was wondering if we made a mistake. Kelly had no idea things were that bad. But frankly divorce was not an option. I have to take responsibility for our troubles. By this time my hole was really getting deep. Instead of my addiction to porn getting better, it got worse. It’s strange; there were times that I clearly felt the Lord’s leading even though I wasn’t walking with Him. One of those times came, and I confessed to my wife my sin. I think that was probably the start of the road to healing. I didn’t realize that my wife had been praying for me and had been asking others to pray for me as well.
This was a hard road to go down. I was recognizing sin in my life and I would try not to sin but I would fail and fail miserably. When I would fail it would just drive me deeper into my sin. My wife wasn’t completely oblivious (only partly so she says) to what was going on but she didn’t nag or force me to go where I wasn’t ready to go. God granted her tremendous patience; I can be a slow learner (hardheaded) at times. All this time I had no desire to go to church or be around other believers, for obvious reasons. I was afraid that someone would be able to see my sin. And I had worked very hard to keep it hidden.
Kelly had been making new friends at MOPS. Little did I know this was all a part of the Lord’s plan. There was one particular gal Kel became friends with. I didn’t know (neither did Kelly) that this gal’s husband was just coming out of a lot of the same sin I was stuck in. About a year later we were invited to a bible study at their house. I did not want to go but Kelly did and frankly if I knew what was good for me I’d suck it up and go. It wasn’t what I expected-not sure what I expected. I found that this couple genuinely cared about people, and that he and I had a lot of common interests. Then he shared with the whole group that Jesus Christ had set him free from an addiction to pornography. Needless to say I became very attentive. I started thinking that if Christ can do that for him, He can do it for me. The study was on being set free from spiritual bondage, something I had never heard about. It fascinated me and it sort of made sense but I wasn’t completely sold on it. The last night was for “ministry.” I’m like, okay, what’s that? Well we broke up into smaller groups to pray (to confess out loud and repent of sin) and to command that any hold that satan had on our lives to be broken in the name of Jesus Christ! I was scared to say the least but I figured I had nothing to lose and I wanted to know if this was real, if it was truth. It was! Praise God it was! As I was praying I literally felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I felt 20 lbs. lighter. It was amazing. I didn’t tell Kel what happened; I was afraid to, that it might nullify it. The wall that satan and myself had built now had a major opening in it.
Over the next year God and I worked through some junk. You see, the more light you let in, the more garbage (sin) you see. The end of that year Kelly came to me and asked me to pray about whether or not we should have more kids. I told her I would; but I didn’t. In fact I TOLD God how it was going to be: we were going to have more kids because I wanted a son. My arrogance still amazes me. Well, Kelly got pregnant and at about 12 weeks Kelly became ill and wound up in the hospital for a few days. At that point the baby was fine, two weeks later she had a checkup. She called me from the doctor’s office and told me she needed an ultra-sound to check on the baby. When I hung up the phone with her I already knew, don’t ask me how I just did. And I knew why! Now this is where a lot of people will strongly disagree. The fact is I lost my son because of my sin. I had chosen to take God’s place. God shares His throne with no one! There is nothing God won’t do to maintain a relationship with His children. In Hebrews 12 (a quote from Proverbs 3) it says that our Father disciplines those He loves. God is love, yes but He is also just! If He would not have disciplined me I would not be where I am today. Did He enjoy it, NO. I believe it broke His heart, and that He wept over me. He loved me too much to let me go. We say God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. In the Old Testament God showed great love, grace, and mercy towards His people but He also at times disciplined them for their sin. For instance, King David’s son died because of his sin. That was the price of David’s sin. Yes, he confessed and repented but there were still consequences to his sin as well as to ours. During that time of grieving I felt God’s arms around me like I never have. I confessed my sin to God face down on the basement floor. And He forgave me. I also had to confess to my wife, and ask for her forgiveness. She did.
After that time, I began going to prayer and worship at church on Wednesday nights. This trial turned my focus even more to prayer. I remember one night at prayer I finally, completely surrendered to God. I was convicted of my sin, yet again. God sent His Son to die for me, and all my life I had asked things from God, but I had never offered him anything. So I told Him, whatever it is you want me to do, the answer is YES.
Months passed, I continued in seeking Him, praying, developing the relationship I never had with Him before. I forgot my “offer” to Him. But He didn’t! A few months later, God worked on my life again, convicting me of sin in my life. See a pattern yet? This time it was a sin of prejudice; not extending grace to people. During the sermon Sunday morning in church, I clearly, audibly, heard God tell me Kelly and I weren’t to have any more kids of our own, we were to adopt. Not exactly a thought on my own radar. I wrestled, and cried, and struggled with God all day long. Later that afternoon working in the barn, God clearly impressed on me that I was to go to prayer at church that night. I got there, and eventually the story spilled out. My friend told me the story of Abraham and Isaac. I knew the story of course, but this time it had special meaning to me. In the barn that afternoon I had asked God, why? Why adopt? He didn’t tell me, He told me to go to prayer. This story was His answer to me. God was asking me if I was willing to give up my desire for a son, for His son, for the son He would have for me. It was then that I remembered my offer that was still on the table, and that I had already said yes.
Hours later the prayer meeting ended, and I still had to milk cows… and talk to Kelly. I hadn’t told her ANYTHING yet. I called and asked her to join me in the barn so we can talk. Not necessarily the right words to say to a woman, she was thinking the worst I’m sure! At this point, there was still a pretty big wall between us. I felt inferior to her in so many ways, not the least of which was on the spiritual side. There was this huge wall I felt I couldn’t get over to even talk to her about spiritual matters. I began to share the events of the day. I wasn’t sure how she would respond, I asked what she thought of all this. I will never forget the words she said to me, “it doesn’t matter what I think or feel-God is talking to you, and I am not going to get in the way.” That huge wall just crumpled in the 3 seconds it took her to say those words.
Needless to say, we (Kelly) began the process of researching adoption. A month or so later we had a referral for some boys in Sierra Leone. The process was long, as adoptions are, and we were preparing to go to SL to fight to bring those boys home, even jokingly saying we’d go do missions for six months there to meet the residency qualifications for adopting. It was during the preparations that we found out our boys weren’t even at the orphanage or with our agency. Our agency was unknowingly being fleeced by a few gentlemen. It was good to be involved in stopping that fraud, we knew God’s hand had been in this process, but we still felt hurt and frustrated.
Through conversations and connections, we ended up with our new agency, Acres of Hope. When we accepted Joseph’s referral and began the final preparations for him to come home, Kelly found out she was pregnant. Originally we had planned to adopt two boys, even had the referrals for two. The week Kelly got the positive test, one of our boys had to leave the orphanage. We look back now and know that that too was God’s work. As we were obedient to Him, he gave me the desire of my heart-and not just one son, but two! About three months later, Joseph came home, and six months later he was joined by our other son Myron.
Joe’s adoption was another stepping stone in our faith journey. I foolishly thought that my offer to God was paid in full! But it was an open-ended deal. It’s been amazing for us to see the many, many other people God has put in our path whose adoptions have been steps in their journeys as well, many ending up in missions too. It has not been an easy path (definitely not boring either!), but we can travel it in full assurance that we are on the path God has called us to.
And this brings us to where we began:
a beginning point.

Saturday, August 25, 2007


When we finally start raising our support and begin the physical preparation for going to Zambia, we will send a sea container full of stuff over. It will take 4-5 months to get there, so will need to send it around the beginning of 2008 at the latest if we continue to shoot for the target date of May next year.

Because we will be shipping then, all the summerish clothes will of course be gone. So today I drove by the thrift store and saw the SUMMER CLEARANCE sign. I am all for clearance, I don't mind used stuff, and I am even more for FREE. Yes, free! While there I asked about a set of encyclopedias they had, they said if I took them right then, I could have then FREE! YEAH! We have been thinking about a set for some time. Now,granted they are a good 25 years old, but in great condition. I think I liked history back from the 80's anyway-I don' think the 'PC'ers started changing history until the 90's. Anyway, it would be great to have a newer set, but if we don't get one, this will work for us.

Anyway, for $136 I got:
23 skirts ranging in sz 4-18
23 t-shirts & collared shirts
3 winter sweaters (so cute, had to have them for this year)
12 pairs of sandals
4 dresses
11 videos for the kids
1 cd
1 clip-on, oh-so-cute tie for Joe
and maybe more. I don't remember anymore.
I've also gotten tons of sandals at the local big-box store for $1.50.

Yes, we could get some of this stuff in Africa, but it may be hard to find, the quality may not be as good, and as I said before, just because it's Africa DOES NOT mean it is cheaper. Especially if I go out to buy it myself. And as far as clothes go, we (I) may be doing some hand wash of clothes. They just don't last as long that way.

Almost forgot! One of the ladies also took my name. She said sometimes they just need to get rid of stuff. So if I was interested, maybe they would call and just let me take a bunch of stuff (free!) to bring over to Africa. Whatever we couldn't use ourselves, we could bring to some of the local villages. How cool is that!

So if anyone has any MODEST clothes (especially long skirts and dresses) for the girls (sz kids 7 to adult sizes) and doesn't want to have a garage sale, give me a call! We'll also need boys clothes starting at about 5T and up. I have no problem taking bigger clothes and keeping them. The sea container will be ours in Africa too, so it will probably become our "shed" in the backyard.

There will be tons of other stuff we will be looking for too, but we get that list out later.

I am always on the look-out now for great deals. Anything summerish (clothes, outdoor stuff {like solar lights}, kids outdoor games) that you see is going for CHEAP, let me know.

And this is my third time editing this post...i forgot to mention the great deals i am getting at OfficeMax-their teaser rates. 4 cents for glue, colors, 10 cents for notebooks and papers...they know me well in there! Every time i go into town, i stop and pick things up (there's a limit on each order-so i also take one of the girls in with me-ha!)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


August 1, 2007
Dear Elders:
As many of you know, Brian and Kelly Jo Kallevig have been pursuing the possibility that God is calling them to serve in a full-time support ministry in Zambia.
We, the Missions Committee, have interviewed the Kallevigs and have determined that they meet the following requirements for missionary service:
• Clear profession and evidence of God’s saving work; spiritual maturity; consistent Christian lifestyle; evidence of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23); continued spiritual growth; modeling the life of Christ (servant spirit, sacrificial spirit, industrious spirit, team spirit, tolerant spirit, prayerful spirit).
• A sacrificial willingness to step out in obedience to God’s calling to ministry.
• Member of EFCW and actively involved in ministry for a minimum of two years.
• Have adequate education and training to carry out the proposed ministry and a desire to obtain any additional Bible training, cross-cultural preparation, ministry experience, or professional training that may be necessary to further improve their potential effectiveness in ministry.
• Desire to maintain strong relationship with EFCW members and leadership, and willingness to abide by any guidelines for correspondence and periodic review of ministry.
• Reflect character qualities of 1 Timothy 3:1-13 and Titus 1:6-9.
• Acceptance by a responsibly operated and doctrinally sound mission agency.
• Physically, emotionally, and mentally fit.
• Strength of marriage and family relationships.
On the basis of these findings, the Missions Committee recommends that the Kallevigs be approved by the Elders as members of the EFCW Transition to Ministry Program so that a structured plan can be developed for helping them obtain any training, mentoring, cross-cultural preparation, or short-term ministry experience necessary to send them spiritually-healthy, fully-equipped and ready to serve into ministry.
Furthermore, the Missions Committee recommends that the Elders prayerfully consider the possibility of becoming the Kallevig’s sending church and be prepared to receive, in May of 2008, the Mission Committee’s recommendation to add/not add the Kallevigs to the list of missionaries that are currently supported as well as a recommendation for how deeply the church, as whole, will involve itself in the work they are considering in Zambia.

Respectfully submitted,
Missions Committee Chair
So that was the letter our Missions guy, sent to the Elders. The Elders asked for the more detailed plan before they make a decision. So that is what we did on Tuesday which many of you prayed for. It was a good meeting and we have a “plan”. I will try to post it later. Basically the plan helps us become equipped to serve in three main areas: “Zambia”, the whole culture side of it; Ag operations, learning what we can with who we can about farming in Zambia; Equipping pastors, as the purpose of the bible college is to equip national pastors, they would like Brian to feel comfortable in discipling others related to ministry issues.
So we have a plan for the next nine months in that way. We will also start the full tilt of fundraising during this time. We are putting a target date of May 2008 out there. Will we go then? We pray so, but we know God is sovereign, and if we need to push back we will. We will need to start receiving support probably in January so we don’t use all of our personal savings while we transition. There are actually three areas we need to raise support for: this transition time, the outgoing/upfront costs, and our monthly support once the boots are on the ground. Our transition support and monthly support in Zambia won’t actually be that different due to the cost difference between here and there. BUT, as we are learning, just because it is Africa, doesn’t mean things are always cheaper!
Right now we are also putting the finishing touches on getting our work permit stuff together. As Brian has been self-employed for basically the last 16 years, it is a little hard to do a resume! We are collecting letters from others now, and then we send them to Gospelink, who then has to have their rep in Zambia file them. So, I am assuming they have to be mailed (unless we go over and hand deliver them), which could take who knows how long!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Prayer request

We've had a little bit of down past couple of days. Some of the logistical things are SEEMING a little huge right now. We praise God for the connections we have made so far, for the help they have been. Please continue to pray that we are led to the right people we need to help us get some things done.
Also, we are meeting Tuesday with our missions guy and Pastor. Our missions guy said we WILL leave there with a plan. Good news! Pray it goes well.
Thank you for all your prayers. We so appreciate them.

Friday, August 17, 2007

this week's "thing"

So the "next thing" we are working on this week is thinking through ideas and resources for us to do in the next 7-8 months to become better equipped for our move and work in and to Africa. We are meeting with our Pastor and Missions Board Chair (and who knows who else) next week to map out a plan for what our church calls "Transition to Ministry". We and they are thinking through some things to look at covering. We have our ideas of course!
Once a plan is in place, it gets presented to the elder officers, who will either approve it themselves, or send it to the full elder board for approval. They will deny or accept.
Not only are we trying to get this ready, but we did talk to the director of Gospelink for a few hours on Wednesday, so we are also trying to put together a timeline for raising support, building the house, and a target date to leave for Zambia.
So, since i don't know who all reads the site, any suggestions of resources or training? Books? Do you support missionaries and have ideas based on what you have heard in newsletters from them? Have you done short or long term missions yourself? Our main work will of course be farming, but i am sure other things will be involved, such as discipleship; but we will not be doing church planting. Throw some ideas our way, we'd appreciate it!
And a little clarification...
Yes, we know we are on the "fast track". Yes, we have heard it can take up to two years to raise support. We also know someone who raised his support in 2 months! We are going to trust GOD for His timing, that He will be the one to raise up His people; it's not us, it's Him. We are setting a target, and will shoot for it. If we don't make it, we'll adjust. We just don't want to set a target of longer than we need-because that's how long everyone thinks it should take. We have a goal, and it's optimistic, yes. But our God is BIG, our God is sovereign, and God will do it. If we are suppose to be there by such and such a date, and we are obedient, then we will be there.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


We are currently on two paths.

The first path is the one where we are actively working on the "next things" to do. I believe by the end of this month, we will at least started applying for our work permit in Zambia. We want to have this done soon as approval could take up to 3 months. The biggest plus for this (other than just the right to be there) is we will be able to ship many things over in a sea container DUTY FREE! The cost of the container and shipping alone could reach $13,000, so not having to pay a tax on all we send over there would be awesome! We plan to ship some furniture, lots of clothes, an appliance or two, and hopeful some other donations for the farm work. Yes, some of that stuff we could get there; but it is actually more expensive and the quality isn't guaranteed. Many of the things we may already own, or we may get donated, so that would put costs down.
If we get the permits by the end of November, there is a chance we could get the container sent by the end of December. (We're praying everything goes quicker though!). A container will take 4-5 months to get there, and due to family size and situation, we are thinking we don't want to go over there until our container gets there. If possible, we could also be sending over some plumbing things and other fixtures (again, cheaper), so there may be house work to get done still too. So no, we really have no idea when we will leave. All this has factor in the fact that we still will have to raise monthly and start up cost support too. We are currently working on the final draft of a support letter, and putting a list together of things we need. Someone may not be able to commit to monthly support, but may be willing to donate towards start up costs, or have something we need that they could donate. More on that later, obviously.

Okay, so the second path involves our church. Right now the mission board chairman has sent a letter of recommendation to our elder board for us to enter into what is called "Transition To Ministry." The specifics of that are set up once we are accepted, but basically it is a time when the elders have decided to affirm our personal call to missions and help equip us for the work. Again, what that looks like, we don't know yet. It may be training at church, training through other places they suggest (we are planning on going here) for some training at the end of November. Now, at this point the elders are not deciding if they will "go with us"-if and how they will support us or not. That comes in the spring ,when they work with budgets and so forth. We are a little unique in that we have come up in the church and been called out. They haven't dealt with that much. The last couple that was sent, knew they were going to do missions at a younger age. They went to college, then came back to be sent. A little different. Anyway, as we are unique, there really isn't a policy set for how and who decides acceptance into TTM. It seems we are the first for a lot of things in life...we are praying that the policy is set quickly, so the decision can be made. It is clear we have been called, so we are praying that God will so impress that on their hearts, they will be able to joyfully, obediently (and quickly!) send us further down the path.
Anyway, we understand the importance of following the church route and getting their blessing. We are just praying it doesn't take to long to decide! Regardless of their decision, we are still going to Zambia. Hence, the two paths we are on. They are separate paths; though parallel. One may just end up moving quicker than the other.