"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Saturday, March 31, 2012


(most of this was written awhile back, part 2 is coming)

That’s me, I feel as I have lost my “faith” in many ways. I still believe-but now that’s something deeper. It is probably safe to say that most believers don’t/won’t understand what I am talking about. It is hard to explain but I will try. For many (I know, not all-but exam yourself), faith is about church or denomination or that feeling they get on a Sunday morning during “worship”. That’s not me. I could care less about denominations; it’s about what you believe. And church, I go not for me but for my wife and kids. Personally I would rather be working than standing around talking to people about nothing. And there are some you just don’t want to talk to. I am at a place where all the “Hi, how you doing?” pleasantries turn my stomach. Fact is, most don’t care. Once I’d like to say “pretty s!@#$y, how are you?” and see how many actually stop and catch it, or if they just keep walking, smile and say “that’s good”.
In a lot of ways I am not sure if I have really lost my faith, or I have just finally really found it. In Crazy Love, Francis Chan says, “…the American church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out New Testament Christianity.” This statement is so true, especially after being back to Zambia again. In our culture and in our churches we worship the god of materialism. We have become so confused about what are needs and what are wants, most everything has become a need. America (including our churches) is a land of idol worshipers. If you disagree with me let me ask you: do you see joy, pure joy in this country in our churches? Answer is NO. Why? Because I would dare say we are not truly worshiping GOD- we are worshiping our stuff. It might be our vehicles, homes, toys, even our church buildings, etc., you can fill in the blank. Look around. We are angry, bitter, tired, disrespectful, and so on. And that is just in our churches. It is because we have lost/forgot/maybe have not known our first love. The One who pursues you with a violent passion, a love that cannot be quenched. One who never gives up on you even when you have given up on yourself.

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