"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Wow. That’s hard to say.

I guess in a way it’s not, ‘cuz really, we DON’T fit in. We’re not big money, we’re not beautiful, we don’t have a company job, we have lots of kids and still would have more, we’ve had a big “failure” in the eyes of many who don’t understand what happened, we’re a little “spirit-led”, we’re just a little too “take-the-Bible-at-it’s-word”- in essence, we’re not part of the “pretty people”. And what’s probably worse-(gasp!)-we are friends with and go out looking for other “not so pretty people.”
It’s hard to come that that point of being tired of trying-for a long time I really wanted to. In a sense I still do-it’s just I’m finding out that the places I am trying to fit into aren’t the places I want to be, and they are not where God even wants me to be.
We’re tired of being uncomfortable. We’d love to set up shop, just sit and coast. We’d love to “fit in” and be included and be part of the lovely ones… We’ve been uncomfortable now for years. In a way, it kinda sucks. On the surface there is the chaos, the confusion, the unsettling. But down deep there is lasting peace, faith, trust, hope. Through all the darkness, there has always been GOD. And truthfully-I am finding that I would much rather be uncomfortable in God’s will then trying to make God’s will conform to my way, to my comfort.

So, I am no longer going to try to fit into what the world and culture wants me to. I am only going to try to “fit myself in” to the processes and pieces that God wants me to. And I am okay with that. Whatever, wherever and however that is going to look like.


Anonymous said...

I believe you guys are "lovely" and "beautiful" and God wants you just the way YOU are, because HE made you that way. YOU are doing exactly what HE wants YOU to do. I'm a little jealous, to be honest, that a lot of US don't see the BIG PICTURE that you do. Thank you for being YOU and shining the light of GOD to all of us!

Ben Mackey

Anonymous said...

hey guys- I've been trying to keep up with your blog, but don't comment as much as I would like to. just wanted you to know, I can relate a lot to this post. it's hard to fit in when you're not going the same direction as the culture, when your life and the decisions you make don't reflect the pursuit of the american dream and all those expectations. I hope you find a great group of friends and I hope you find a good rhythm of life soon. praying for you friends!

Corey Roskamp said...

It is hard to not treat this earth as our home, to look at it as a temporary thing. What happens on earth is important so how do we find the balance of wanting the things the world offers and what God calls us to? How come so many others that claim the same faith don't feel the same uncomfortableness that you described? great post! Thanks

Corey Roskamp

Brian and Kelly Jo Kallevig said...

thanks guys!
especially hard when more and more it seems it is the CURRENT "church culture" that we don't fit into!

Jeannie said...

This is refreshingly real writing!! - thank you Kelly. It's not until we say stuff like this that it's ever gonna change!!!