"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I am in the middle of a bible study, “Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed.” Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur each present two of the six weeks of study. It’s going fine, nothing spectacular I guess; but with the way things have been feeling, God would probably have to audibly speak for me to feel anything is spectacular lately. Anyway, at the end of session three, B. M. talked about getting over your “devastation with God.” I obviously perked my ears up and listened and waited and had my pen ready for her to tell me how to do that, how to really, fully, completely do that. Well, she didn’t. So I figured we’d cover it in the homework you know, the 1-2-3 of how to do that. Guess what, it wasn’t in there either. I was sorta bummed.
See the thing is, you just kind of have to do it. Or you can be stuck. For days, weeks, years. I guess you have to pull up the boot straps, make the choice and do it. If it were only that simple.
Here’s her context-2 Samuel 6 where newly King David is dancing and celebrating while bringing the Ark of the Covenant back from the Philistines. Uzzah steadies it with his hand when the cart is bumped and is killed instantly-party dies then and there as well of course. David is angry at God, and then a few verses later he is afraid of God. I would venture not just afraid of the power and holiness of God that he saw, but probably also afraid to ever do anything again that seems like a God idea. I think he was probably wondering how he would ever know what God really wanted for him and what was just him. How could he really know? And then, even if God asked him to do something, how could it be sure it would turn out okay?
B.M. then goes on to say we have to accept the challenge of working through it with God, and we do. I just wish she didn’t move on so quickly to 1 Chronicles 16:34 where David praised God, not long after Uzzah’s death. She says, “He found his heart, healed and restored, at home again with God…” Yes, he did. But I really wish we could see more of that process.
1 Chronicles 15:13 tells us what happened that first time, “because you (the Levites) did not carry it at the first, the LORD our God made an outburst on us, for we did not seek Him according to the ordinance.” It seems David found out/got to see/figured out why the “devastation” happened. How much harder it is when you can’t see the full picture of the why. Bits and pieces are helpful and all, but the big why still is out there. The words, the verses people give you to encourage you-there are all valid-intellectually they made sense; but when it is the heart that is hurt, how do you make that knowledge not just understood, but felt? And it is and has to be a personal choice to “get over it.” You can’t choose it for someone else.

No comments: