Another hard thing-reading notes and remembering encouragements from people along the way who are now completely silent to us. I know, I know. They just don’t know what to say. And I couldn’t tell you what to say either. But all the time Brian in particular spent with you, how you encouraged us, sent us notes and emails (and Facebooks!), and sent over care packages and gifts. And you don’t know the whole (true) story of why we left…so you say nothing. Ouch.
I wonder if this isn’t what it feels like when there is a death in someone’s family-especially a spouse. No one knows what to say; so they don’t say anything. Another lesson I should be learning and putting into practice as I have a few acquaintances in this type of situation.
One guy wrote to us “thank you for living out your faith for all of us to see.” I wonder if he is still thankful for that. Truth is, faith isn’t always, actually rarely is, the mountain top. Are you still happy with your faith when you are (or see others) in the valley of the shadow of death? Do you still want to see my faith then?
Looking back we felt we were making an impact on people’s lives. Some of you told us we were. Do you doubt us now and does that make you doubt any change/impact in your own life? I would hope not. Really, that sounds pretty high and mighty, doesn’t it? But reading the comments you left, I know we had brought about “something” in some of your lives. I just wouldn’t want anything that ended up happening to us affect you. That you would doubt, just because it didn’t work out according to our plan.
I think I am deciding that it is good for me, anyway, to be reading our complete blog. I think I am suppose to be learning to get my focus off of me and think about GOD and what HE has done, is doing, and will be doing. HE is still good, HE is still GOD, and HE is still in control.
Please keep praying for Brian and I. So often it seems we aren’t in the same place on a lot of our healing. Which is often two steps forward, one (or three) steps back anyway. One of us seems to get through something, and then the other is attacked harder. There is still such a spiritual battle going on in us, for us, through us.
5 comments:
What is the TRUE TRUE TRUE story us supporters need to know.
Some of us are fighting battles of our own and that's why we have been silent. Not because we don't support you or question "it" now that you are "home." Actually I'm feeling the same way in my current battle. There are "things/details" that people in our circle of friends, church friends, certain family members, etc. just don't need to know. I know and God knows...that's what matters. But it still feels so lonely when you come down off the mountain top experience. It is similar to loosing a loved one to death. I have experienced that in my life and everyone is there for you during the tragedy and the funeral....afterwards, everybody else goes back to their "normal" lives and there you are...alone. People don't know what to say or how to act around you, so yes, they are silent. It is a battle and a struggle within all of use that we need to remember we are all sinners and we are all God's children and we NEED EACH OTHER...whether you agree with the decisions one is making or not. We still need the love and support of God's family! I'm sorry you feel so alone in this...just know that I am alone too, fighting a battle...alone and that I will be praying for your family!
Mabey we don't know why you left??? Mabey you sure tell some of us. There are people that gave lot of help for your family but we still don't know what went wrong. Just something to think about..
Kelly and Brian may decide not to let this comment be posted. I hope they don't. Everyone who reads this blog needs to also go to zambiathenextstep blog-that's the blog for Paul and Lori - who are there now, essentially taking over from Brian and Kelly. Read some of the posts. Ask yourself - why is everything there peaches and cream? How come these two people don't tell you of the struggles they encounter? Could it have something to do with the organization sponsoring the IBC? Nothing against Paul and Lori - I believe they are truly committed to what they are doing - but how can things be so great for them in the same situation Bri and KJ experienced?
Another thing to consider as you read zambiathenextstep.com - how come Paul and Lori NEVER acknowledge that Brian and Kelly are no longer there? Certainly they must have had some feelings about them leaving? How come they couldn't even be bothered to drive them to the airport in the school bus? Didn't they have to go get it after Bri and Kel just left it in the airport parking lot? How come there wasn't a story/post about that? Maybe that has something to do with little Myron singing "I will follow Jesus" as they pulled away from the college?
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