"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Sunday, May 23, 2010

the TRUE TRUE TRUE story

A commenter, who said they were a supporter, wants to know the TRUE TRUE TRUE story of why we left. Another commented that they still don’t know what went wrong.

We’ve always said we are an open book, ask away and we will tell. So, we will gladly tell you, you just need to ASK us. We’ve always encouraged you to ask, because we know there are many rumors out there. It’s a mid-western curse maybe? We never want to ask the actual people involved; we like to ask someone else we think might know. I (unfortunately) do it myself too often. So we have asked you and told you again and again to ask us, US. And we have had conversations on the phone or through email with many of you, and we have greatly appreciated them.

There are just a few issues for us to consider about how we can tell the truth-publicly at least.

Technically, we were employees of our agency, they were an employer-just like Burger King or anyone else who pays a W-2 wage. So while they have more bounds about what they are allowed to say and not say by employer/employee confidentiality laws, we don’t have quite the same restrictions. In essence, we’ve been told that for them to tell anyone much more than “it just didn’t work out,” it could be interpreted as breaking those laws. Somehow, we aren’t bound quite the same way by those laws (or by any other agreement because we never signed any type of confidentiality agreement or contract of any kind with them).

Any truth we write is OUR truth; what we saw, what we did (or didn’t do), what we kept records of. And with the Internet being what it is, and black and white words read differently by different people, someone could easily take what we say in the wrong way. And we can only present our side, from our perspective. And fact would be intertwined with opinion and could easily be misinterpreted by someone as saying something it doesn’t. And we can’t tell you anything from the side, because we are obviously not them, and second, because after the decision for us to leave was made, we were never given an opportunity to discuss it with anyone from our agency. Communications beyond a few logistical questions were not happening; they were not open to discussing anything. And I will add that to this day, there still has been no attempt made at reconciliation (on either side). From what WE read and saw and felt in all our emails and then subsequent discussions with our church staff, the agency does not feel they did anything needing reconciliation, apologies or discussions. (See, now that is an opinion-we don’t KNOW that as fact (we haven’t asked them), so that’s our own perception).

We said we would respect the Anonymous commenters and we have posted them; but this may be a case where the answer can’t be put on the blog. We respect your questions and have an answer prepared, but we feel we shouldn’t put the full answer on the blog at this time. As one of our supporters, you know that we have always tried to be brutally honest with you; and we would be, just privately. At this point in time, we still feel we need to be discreet and need to give direct answers and examples in private communications (because it’s so easy to get burned). We have hinted to various things and reasons along the way, but those have been indirect/somewhat veiled, so you may not have caught them. And do believe this: we were (and are still) honored and humbled to have been supported by you. We do know there is a responsibility to answer your concerns and questions and we will do so…and we will not feel you have turned on us or think any less of you or anything else if you still don’t agree with how things turned out. Just don’t be afraid to ask!

If you give us your number, we will call you and discuss it with you. Or if you prefer, we will email you and share with you, and answer any more specific questions you may have. Really, WE WANT TO TELL YOU. We just need to figure out how to do it in a Christ-honoring way. We can give you specific examples of all the things that led to our leaving-all the things we were lied to about, all the things we saw that we couldn’t go along with, all the things we also said and did on our part. Perhaps the simplest thing to say is that it became increasing clear to both sides that we no longer had compatible mission philosophies and methods for the project and the way business was conducted, so it became necessary for us to leave (and the truth is: it was not by our choice).

Without being able to go into all those details, I know that doesn’t really tell you the TRUE TRUE TRUE story. We are trying to use “due prudence” and not publicly air all the dirty laundry. Believe me-a major part of me wants so badly to go public with what we saw and what happened, but I know it is not currently the right time. So please, contact us privately at our email calltoobedience@gmail.com. Don’t leave your name if you don’t want, just an email address.

But let me end by saying this: if you think we left because Brian shot a cow, you’re wrong. :-)


Anonymous said...

You two should run for public office. WOW

Brian and Kelly Jo Kallevig said...

I am putting this here so that you, Anonymous poster get a response :) (since you commented, any subsequent comment should go directly to your inbox)


So, we can only come to the conclusion that it is GOD that is holding us back from answering publicly. We have already said that we didn't leave on our own (we were moving that, but the final decision wasn't ours) and put up plenty of unflattering things about ourselves, so it is not our reputation we are protecting. Which is what leads us to believe it can only be GOD holding us back.

Second, I haven't reconciled this feeling in me, so I am not going to do anything until I figure it out: Something just doesn't sit right with people asking for the reasons anonymously. I don't know what it is. If you can't ask us personally, maybe I question the motivation of it? And if you are a supporter or our agency, you SHOULDN'T WANT us to post it publicly.

And third, I am lazy. Do you have any idea how much typing and editing and whatnot it would take to put the story on the blog and include all context? HOURS, no DAYS. I can have a single 30-45 minute conversation on the phone and explain most of what would take me days to get ready to post.

So there you have it, three more clear reasons. A little less PC this time! :-)