So this whole missionary thing started with a question-is there more to this life for us than kids and cows? Now after two months I feel like it’s the same questions-there’s gotta be more to life than kids and working just to survive. What are we doing here? Why did God put us in this place? We can look back and see that good things happened during the process of getting here both for us and others. But now that we are here, what now? We have little to no idea of what is going on back home, what our friends are doing now, what’s going on at church, in the news, politics …and we just seem to spend everyday trying to live and survive out in the bush. What’s missionary about that? Where’s God now? Where’s the ministry we are suppose to do? Okay, I know a big part of it was the process and what happened; and we see some big changes coming that we are called to be a part of (God seems to enjoy putting us in this one type of position over and over again). But still, some times at night in bed, it’s like, what’s different about here? Why couldn’t we keep doing what we were doing before in a modern home with friends and family around for support? What are we doing here that’s different? If this is supposed to be the answer to that first question of the journey, I admit to a little disappointment! And just so you all know, as we do, this is part of the transition we are in-the culture shock, the everything of moving…we knew we would have days and weeks of feeling this way, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Hopefully we’re not spoiling your visions of what missionaries are…”God called them to this so everything is suppose to be great and fun and what you thought it would be.” Sorry, it definitely isn’t all roses. It’s doubt, fear, even anguish sometimes…
Though we can’t sit down and talk about this with you over a cup of coffee, you wouldn’t believe how good it feels after writing this slice of life to you. The burden is temporarily lifted, and so, so often, God has answered a prayer of our heart’s cry before you even see the post!
2 comments:
I am sure do feel like now what at times, I cant imagine being so far from home and modernization. We continue to pray for you and your family here. Be thankful you aren't sitting here in 18 below weather today. You are swimming and getting a tan. Not much for news on this end. We dont get to willmar so much. We hope to get together with your folks soon. Jordan comes up here every few weeks. Melissa lives about 15 minutes from here. We continue to search for another source of income and with times the way they are.. it is scary. Take and keep the faith.
"You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessings granted to us through the prayers of many." 2 Co. 1:11 ESV
I think you raise some good questions that I don't have all the answers to.
I know from my brief study of other lives of missionaries, that often several years go by before anything obviously "productive" happens.
But the groundwork is being laid.
I've also been impressed that one of the blessings a missionary family enjoys is not so much immediate success in evangelism, but rather spiritual growth for themselves amid many challenges that you wouldn't otherwise see here in the States.
I believe that just the fact that you're dealing with rather petty police fines and with a seemingly lax work ethic among the people is in some way contributing to your own spiritual growth.
I know it's difficult but try not to let this seemingly dry time discourage you. God is in this, and he is watching over every step and every frustration.
The One who called you to obedience is faithful and will enable you to endure to the end. I think one of your main encouragements now as you wait for the fruits of your mission work to unfold is simply the knowledge that you are right in the center of his will, doing the best you can to obey his leading.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13 ESV
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