on the airplane

The feeling is surreal. It still hasn’t sunk in. I know for many it was very hard to let us go. I wasn’t always sure if I was going to make it through. Saying goodbye to people and places was hard (that’s an understatement).I felt like someone cut my heart out. We cried a good way to the Cities. The farm was everything I knew. I was comfortable. I felt safe there. It has always been home and I pray will always be! I love that place! Even thinking about it causes me to cry. It’s the memories there. That farm has been where my life has taken place. Literally my blood, sweat, and tears went into that place. It bothers me a lot that I am not going to be able to help dad with harvest this year, to go hunting with Tim this fall-to hear a shot and then get a phone call so I can go gut his deer for him. I hope and pray the tears are done, but I doubt it. There is such as aching inside that I know only time will heal. It is the same for those left behind. Part of me doesn’t want it to heal completely. I always want to feel something even if it hurts a little.