why?

That just seems to be a question that I seem to be asking a lot lately. Why what? Why won’t these guys listen to what I am asking them to do or not to do? Am I the head of agriculture here or not? Why do they seemly follow traditions that they know hurt themselves and others? Why are they so afraid to challenge such traditions? Why are they unwilling to do the things necessary to prosper? Why won’t they change there agriculture practices and embrace proven ideas? They have embraced other change, why not in farming? I see them-they have a hoe in one hand and a cell phone in the other. I sometimes just get beside myself with frustration. All I want is to see them prosper, to see them be able to send their kids to school, see them have enough food on their table all year. One of their only sources of income is agriculture. Would it not make sense to want to make improvements, to make things as efficient as possible to be able to provide more revenue? I often feel if I am here to teach Ag and they are not going to listen, then why am I wasting my time? Now, if the we decide the Ag at this school is to be about revenue, not so much teaching, then I won’t have time to teach anyway. But if it is about revenue then I need more equipment and better equipment.
I have begun to ask the question, if Ag is what just got us here but there is another purpose, then what is it??? The Lord made it clear to me that for now we are to just “be still”. Do you have any idea how hard that is? I want to do something. I want direction. I want answers! I am not real good at patience that is rather obvious!
The other day I was particularly frustrated and the Lord brought 2 individuals to my door with “problems”. Nothing to major (at least to me). One older guy just needed someone to fix his bicycle. It only took a little bit of time, a wrench and a vise. But he was incredibly grateful, you’d have thought I bought him a new bike. The other was a guy was in need of some money. He is a little younger than me; his girlfriend had a baby a little over a month ago. He did not have any money to buy baby stuff (or so he said). I have a policy that I rarely, if ever, give out money. I told him to just wait. I knew Kel had a box of stuff for give away. So we went through it and we bagged up a couple of baby blankets and baby clothes, also some clothes for mom and dad. When I brought it out to him I was looking to see if there was any disappointment in his eyes for not getting cash. I was very surprised when he wrapped his arms around me and thanked me over and over. He was deeply moved, which moved me. He was a young father who had not provided what his girlfriend and baby needed and you could tell he was a little embarrassed/ashamed. He was reluctant to tell me why he needed the money but he also knew I was someone he could come to with a problem. Truth is, it probably would have been easier for him to have stolen something from me or the school than to come to me. That morning was the Lord’s reminder that he is using me and that there are people out there that I can help where they are at. It does not answer my questions of course. So I wait- or should I say “Be Still”. Your prayers for us during times like these are so incredibly appreciated, words don’t describe it.