Friday, March 9, 2012
"the show"
Oh boy, now you’re wondering who I am going to offend (I know my wife is!). Might be a lot of people but hear me out first. I see Sunday morning “worship” as a show, I do. And I am not alone in it. But I want to explain so you can see where I am coming from. I understand that there are a great many people that get a great deal out of Sunday morning worship (I have as well at times), I am not here to discount that. I just want to show you a different perspective (one that I am not alone in). Let me ask you, where did our current Sunday morning worship come from? What was it born out of? Answer: the popular Christian music industry (look at the music we sing). Our Sunday morning is not a lot different than going to a Christian music concert (complete with stadium seating and the best singers and musicians we got). It is entertainment plain and simple. Yes, there are some that view it as worship and I think that is very sad because I don’t think they know what worship really is and never will as long as they can be entertained (and get that warm fuzzy feeling). Am I saying you cannot worship in that kind of setting …No. What I am saying is we are and will continue to sell everyone short if this is all it is ever going to be. Oh yes, I can hear some tell me already, “You need to have grace for those that are not where you are.” And I can only say that I hope they never have to be on the same path I have been on and be where I am at. I don’t write this as someone with some sort of spiritual superiority (I don’t need to be reminded who I am, I know). I write this as someone who sees things and has the stupidity/courage (you chose) to say them. I want the best for everyone, period. Really, I am not looking to offend people but it is going to happen when you chose to be honest and write what is in your heart. And if that means knocking over the apple cart to do it, I’m ok with that. I really am not looking to make enemies, only to challenge your thinking and want you to want more than the world has to offer.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
***UPDATED BELOW***
The other day I was talking with someone about church and I asked him if they went anywhere. His response was, “Yes, wherever we decide on Sunday morning.” They had been to most of the churches in town and have not yet found a church home. I told them where I went but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. As it turns out, they had been there. He told me the building was really nice and the service was fine -and this is where I could feel the “but” coming on- so I said “but” and he finished, “it felt like a show. When I left I felt like I needed to go over to the Catholic Church so I could pray and be with God.” Wow…. Just sit and mull on that for a few minutes. What might be sadder is that I don’t disagree with him and yet I am still there. (Not really for me-it is for my kids, right or wrong, I don’t know). I didn’t get a chance to tell him about the church I attend on Sunday night.
It is small and honestly it is a bunch of broken, messed up people that have decided to be honest about where they are. There are not many secrets here. Honestly, most of us didn’t even want to do this and start getting together. I look at it now and realize that God stepped in and decided that it was time and that we were ready even though we were telling ourselves (and some continue to tell themselves) that we are not ready. Thing is HE sees the fire inside you. It is the one you/I have been trying to put out so God can write you off. The problem: He sees the fire is just about getting to the point where you are going to lose control of it and HE sees it and has been waiting. Waiting, because HE knows you cannot put it out, once that fire has been lit…. It will NEVER go out…..EVER. It does not matter how hard you try (and God knows how hard I have tried), you cannot put it out. You can knock it down for a time, even get it down to hot coals and no flame, but all GOD has got to do….. is breath on it.
***UPDATE***
Any good blog post, I think, should generate some discussion. This one may have provoked the wrong discussion. While I can’t speak to what this other guy thought was a “show”, I know what I meant, and it is not about any one person, my church or even about any one church. The majority of churches in America would get my vote as showy. “The show” for me is anything that is a distraction for me from what I am supposed to focused on.
The point of that paragraph was to segue into what I feel is my “church home” and what God is doing there.
I am sorry if you were hurt by my comments, I certainly could have fleshed them out better so my meaning was more clear the first time.
The other day I was talking with someone about church and I asked him if they went anywhere. His response was, “Yes, wherever we decide on Sunday morning.” They had been to most of the churches in town and have not yet found a church home. I told them where I went but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. As it turns out, they had been there. He told me the building was really nice and the service was fine -and this is where I could feel the “but” coming on- so I said “but” and he finished, “it felt like a show. When I left I felt like I needed to go over to the Catholic Church so I could pray and be with God.” Wow…. Just sit and mull on that for a few minutes. What might be sadder is that I don’t disagree with him and yet I am still there. (Not really for me-it is for my kids, right or wrong, I don’t know). I didn’t get a chance to tell him about the church I attend on Sunday night.
It is small and honestly it is a bunch of broken, messed up people that have decided to be honest about where they are. There are not many secrets here. Honestly, most of us didn’t even want to do this and start getting together. I look at it now and realize that God stepped in and decided that it was time and that we were ready even though we were telling ourselves (and some continue to tell themselves) that we are not ready. Thing is HE sees the fire inside you. It is the one you/I have been trying to put out so God can write you off. The problem: He sees the fire is just about getting to the point where you are going to lose control of it and HE sees it and has been waiting. Waiting, because HE knows you cannot put it out, once that fire has been lit…. It will NEVER go out…..EVER. It does not matter how hard you try (and God knows how hard I have tried), you cannot put it out. You can knock it down for a time, even get it down to hot coals and no flame, but all GOD has got to do….. is breath on it.
***UPDATE***
Any good blog post, I think, should generate some discussion. This one may have provoked the wrong discussion. While I can’t speak to what this other guy thought was a “show”, I know what I meant, and it is not about any one person, my church or even about any one church. The majority of churches in America would get my vote as showy. “The show” for me is anything that is a distraction for me from what I am supposed to focused on.
The point of that paragraph was to segue into what I feel is my “church home” and what God is doing there.
I am sorry if you were hurt by my comments, I certainly could have fleshed them out better so my meaning was more clear the first time.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
THE PENDULUM OF PRAYER
The discussion at our small group the other night was on prayer. In my mind I saw prayer as a pendulum that swings back and forth in our/my faith walk. On one end you talk to him all the time about everything; God is your buddy or friend and there is an arrogance in your attitude and a casualness in your tone and conversation. On the other end, you never talk to Him. And somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot of reverence and adoration. In those times more often than not-words are optional; tears are more common. And every teardrop speaks volumes that words just cannot do justice to. It seems so hard to get and stay at that place because something gives the pendulum another push.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
sixteen years
(this was our engagement picture)
Sixteen years ago today I became Mrs. Brian Kallevig. Who in the world could ever have imagined the adventures that would come marrying a dairy farmer?! Of course no one can really foresee where they will go, do , become...but I am pretty sure that our adventures would have never been a blimp on the radar for anyone to see coming!
And our adventures keep coming. Sometimes they are dull and boring, sometimes more than we think we can stand, but always together. Thank you for being my guide, my scout, my instructor, my companion, my friend, my lover, my dream man.
I LOVE YOU AND HERE'S TO ANOTHER 16 MORE,
WHEREVER THEY MAY LEAD!!!
WHEREVER THEY MAY LEAD!!!
Friday, January 20, 2012
help 4 hope afrika
I was wondering what happened to Jack & Judy's website until a note popped up on Facebook about a change with a link to this video.
It's long, but Judy did a great job on it! It's fun for us to see how our and your "stuff" is still being used in ministry (Brian really misses that truck!). I had some great plans I'm sure about what I was going to write, but that was almost a week ago, and it still hasn't happened :) So here it is anyway!
I don't know if I should even try to explain. Stuff is just stuff, I know. But there was something that Brian said as we watched. He said, "Seeing all that stuff, and it still being used, it helps it feel a little more like our time there wasn't a waste."
Sometimes we think of all the work, time, and money (and pain) that it took to get to Zambia, to be there, to leave and there is still pain and sorrow. But it wasn't all in vain-for us or for you. Your gifts are still be used to minister to people in Zambia, just in a new place and in new ways. Thanks again for your prayers, love, gifts, time. Even when we don't see or know what it is, God has a bigger plan!
It's long, but Judy did a great job on it! It's fun for us to see how our and your "stuff" is still being used in ministry (Brian really misses that truck!). I had some great plans I'm sure about what I was going to write, but that was almost a week ago, and it still hasn't happened :) So here it is anyway!
I don't know if I should even try to explain. Stuff is just stuff, I know. But there was something that Brian said as we watched. He said, "Seeing all that stuff, and it still being used, it helps it feel a little more like our time there wasn't a waste."
Sometimes we think of all the work, time, and money (and pain) that it took to get to Zambia, to be there, to leave and there is still pain and sorrow. But it wasn't all in vain-for us or for you. Your gifts are still be used to minister to people in Zambia, just in a new place and in new ways. Thanks again for your prayers, love, gifts, time. Even when we don't see or know what it is, God has a bigger plan!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Well, it’s been awhile since posting! Some days (most!) I just don’t feel I have anything to say and less time to say it. Other times I have too much to say. After writing and processing it, there’s a peace and it’s best to leave it there.
We’ve been doing the daily grind as usual with school and housework. Everyone is growing and just living life I guess (how original, eh?). The last few weeks since Christmas have been emotionally/mentally/spiritually exhausting so the body is feeling it too.
Many of you will remember that we took J down for some visits and testing at the U of Minnesota Intl Adoption Clinic. We got the preliminary results in a visit a couple weeks ago and are now waiting for the full report to read through and digest. He’s still doing speech therapy, occupational therapy and his play therapy with mom. We have made HUGE progress with him, and I have as well. I was seeing a counselor at the same time to continue to process all that was going on. If love is patient, love is kind, self-controlled, gentle and so on…then I definitely love him way more than I did before. I guess I have finally felt I’ve been forgiven for numerous things in the past related to him, and I am choosing to continue to believe even when I feel attacked-a voice says that forgiveness/forgiving myself is too easy. Sometimes it seems that I let this or that go too “easy.” I can step back and say if that was easy, I never want to see hard! It has been a tough process for me and him too I know.
Lately we’ve been dealing with A LOT of behavior issues as he progresses through his stuff too. Many, many times in the last two weeks he has regressed to a 3 year old behaviorally and mentally. When his anger flares it is even younger, sometimes around one. There were a few scary times too, but they SEEM to be behind us (praying!). It is draining to deal with these tantrums as they take a lot of my time, and they feel like we are letting him “get away” with things that were never problems before. It’s hard to keep perspective of a 3 year old in an 8 year old body. Of course the other kids all need me as well and they are missing the attention so they act out as well, especially the boys. I lose my patience with them easier as I am maybe just trying to push through dealing with J so that we get to the next step in his healing. In the last two or three days I’ve seen marked improvement from 5 days ago. The thought is that he will continue to come back around closer to his physical age as the relationship continues to get better. I know he’s gotta test it out to be sure the changes are gonna “stick”, but some days are really wowzer!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! to all those who have been praying for us! It is God that is keeping us a float through your prayers! We so appreciate it and ask that you continue to make mention of us to our YAHWEH ROPHE-the LORD WHO HEALS.
We’ve been doing the daily grind as usual with school and housework. Everyone is growing and just living life I guess (how original, eh?). The last few weeks since Christmas have been emotionally/mentally/spiritually exhausting so the body is feeling it too.
Many of you will remember that we took J down for some visits and testing at the U of Minnesota Intl Adoption Clinic. We got the preliminary results in a visit a couple weeks ago and are now waiting for the full report to read through and digest. He’s still doing speech therapy, occupational therapy and his play therapy with mom. We have made HUGE progress with him, and I have as well. I was seeing a counselor at the same time to continue to process all that was going on. If love is patient, love is kind, self-controlled, gentle and so on…then I definitely love him way more than I did before. I guess I have finally felt I’ve been forgiven for numerous things in the past related to him, and I am choosing to continue to believe even when I feel attacked-a voice says that forgiveness/forgiving myself is too easy. Sometimes it seems that I let this or that go too “easy.” I can step back and say if that was easy, I never want to see hard! It has been a tough process for me and him too I know.
Lately we’ve been dealing with A LOT of behavior issues as he progresses through his stuff too. Many, many times in the last two weeks he has regressed to a 3 year old behaviorally and mentally. When his anger flares it is even younger, sometimes around one. There were a few scary times too, but they SEEM to be behind us (praying!). It is draining to deal with these tantrums as they take a lot of my time, and they feel like we are letting him “get away” with things that were never problems before. It’s hard to keep perspective of a 3 year old in an 8 year old body. Of course the other kids all need me as well and they are missing the attention so they act out as well, especially the boys. I lose my patience with them easier as I am maybe just trying to push through dealing with J so that we get to the next step in his healing. In the last two or three days I’ve seen marked improvement from 5 days ago. The thought is that he will continue to come back around closer to his physical age as the relationship continues to get better. I know he’s gotta test it out to be sure the changes are gonna “stick”, but some days are really wowzer!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! to all those who have been praying for us! It is God that is keeping us a float through your prayers! We so appreciate it and ask that you continue to make mention of us to our YAHWEH ROPHE-the LORD WHO HEALS.
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