DESIRES

Today while making supper a thought struck me.  I ruminated on it a bit on my walk and a blog post happened…

I was just thinking how very often God DOES give us our heart’s desires.  He knows they are not maybe His final plans for us, but He gives it anyway in order to teach and prepare us.

I know I need to better explain that, and I will, but I want to be careful so I don’t have to deal with the comments about Africa being whatever based on anyone else’s whatever.  Africa was a part of God’s plan for us and I will.not.ever.doubt that.

There were things going on just fine in our lives 5-6 years ago.  God was working in our hearts and minds, especially Brian’s and things were happening and busy and sailing along.  But in some ways, we were stuck, caught in a rut of day-to-day-that’s-about-it-living.  Nothing wrong, but nothing too super either.  We were tied to the dairy farm and there weren’t many options outside of that, not that we were looking either.

So I strongly believe it was God who caused the stirring of restlessness in us, both at the same time, for the same thing.  

Long story short, we were in the process of preparing, moving to, living, and then moving back from our time in Zambia.

God gave us our desire to go and do “something else”.  He used it to train, prepare, cause reliance upon Him, show His faithfulness, His provision, to teach us what we needed to know so that He could have us back here doing what He wanted us to do and be okay with that-content with that. 

I personally am feeling a peace and contentment I haven’t felt for a long time.  (I know some of it is things being worked out in therapy with J as well.)  Sure, we are feeling the pinch of space in our house and yard, and there are some concerns and desires out there, but for the most part I really am feeling okay with where we are “at” right now.  

I also know I wouldn’t be feeling this way if we hadn’t gone and did what we did.  Brian wouldn’t be doing what he is doing now (well, none of us would), we wouldn’t be living as we are now.  So many things would be different.  Yet, there are a large portion of things that are the same as they were, way back when.

I think God allowed us to follow our desires, be able to use them for His Glory, and at the same time use them to teach us to be content with where ever He will have and use us.