So I have been thinking about something…again. And since we’ve been lead for some crazy reason to think things out in the blogosphere, I am writing about it…again.

I have faith. Don’t question that. I do question the aspects of what/why/when/how I believe at various times. And it is okay to question. Because I don’t want to just say “I don’t understand but I have faith anyway.” Eventually that sometimes happens, but usually not until after I have done a little more research. Then I get to the “This is what I think this is it, but maybe I still don’t understand it all, but I am going to believe anyway…” And well, people much smarter than me, people who spend way more time thinking about things than me…well, they don’t have the answers to my questions really. And even if they did, it’s not really an answer, but a starting point so that I can then dig deeper, so I can make it my own.
I don’t know where I would fall on most theological issues (like that really matters). Calvinism, Arminianism, other “Christian-based isms”… And I doubt I would fit perfectly into any one of those anyway.
But I digress a little.

Anyway, what I am still struggling with how to put into words and belief deals with the omniscience of God. As my English dictionary says, the “knowing everything” of God. And God’s omnipresence; His “ability to be everywhere at the same time”. We believe that everywhere includes every-when, because He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End.
So what does God allow, what does God cause? What really is a result of the fallen world? One of our three miscarriages we believe was very clearly a part of God’s plan. But really, wouldn’t they all be? Because if He sees all, is everywhere, all the time, has all my days planned out…doesn’t He know my choices too? He knows what I will choose to do and what results will come out of each choice. Psalm 139 really lays it out- v16 says all my days were written in His book before one of them happened. V4 says even before a word is on my tongue He knows it. Maybe v6 sums it up, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it.”


A friend is dying of cancer. Is this something God caused for His glory or is this something He allowed for His glory? Is this just a “result of a fallen world”? (What does that really mean anyway?) I mean, He knew it was gonna happen (but how or why?) and how it is going to turn out-so He then has a plan for it already. Just what does that mean? How do we wrap our heads around it? Yes, we live in a fallen world, but God is WAY BIG ENOUGH to do something about it, does He just hold Himself back?

I know, you could easily ask why we bother to pray then? God already knows how everything is going to turn out? But often, it seems my praying is for me to know and serve and glorify God better, and my prayer (that He knows I am going to pray) is already a part of the plan He has set in motion. I guess that goes to one of those “deep theological questions” that comes up-Did Abraham really change God’s mind about Sodom & Gomorrah? Or did He already know what was going to happen and He answered the way He did for Abraham’s benefit? He wasn’t lying by saying for this many people I won’t do it…they were all true statements.

I guess when a situation comes up that hurts and you feel personally, it makes you question more, it makes you struggle, makes you think. But I believe in the long run my faith is strengthened by my questions as we have to seek Him more.