"This life therefore, is not godliness but the process of becoming godly, not health but getting well, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not now what we shall be, but we are on the way. The process is not yet finished, but it is actively going on. This is not the goal, but it is the right road. At present, everything does not gleam and sparkle, but everything is being cleansed." --Martin Luther

Friday, December 31, 2010


Here is a challenge for all you wives out there, if you so feel led to accept it :).

For one week (or maybe two!) keep track of all the time you spend talking to the following people:
-your husband
-your kids
-your friends (you can include extended family here-grandparents, etc)

If you want to be a little more exact, you could divide the husband and/or kid time into “meaningful” time and routine time. You could even have the chart divided for each kid.
Count your phone calls (not to hard when the cell phones tell you how long you’ve been on for!), your conversations in vehicles, your passing in and out the door, your pillow talk time too. You can count bedtime stories, prayers and conversations around the table (counts for both hubby and kids if everyone is involved!). If you go out to eat, count the drive time, the meal, the goodbyes, count it all. Yes, you have to be conscience of doing this-don’t just guess.
It may be best to wait until you are back into the school routine, next week or the following week. Don’t go out of your way to avoid any conversations, and don’t try to make a point to have extra if you feel you are getting low on someone’s minutes. This is just an exercise to see where you are, right now; and to see who you need to spend more time with-and less.

Why? What’s the point? Does it matter who you spend most of your time with? Of course it does! Our priorities are first to our Heavenly Father (suppose you could have a slot for Him too!), then to our husbands and families. I think we will be quite surprised when we look at just who we spend our time talking to. You probably think I am going to say “friend” time is bad. I am not. Because we need that as well (and I know my husband needs me to have that time too). But you know what? My husband is my BEST FRIEND, and he is the one I talk to about EVERYTHING. He is the one I seek first for counsel and then approval/permission depending on the occasion. I know that I talk to him way more than any of my friends. Sure, I might have a phone call once a week or so where I am on the phone for 30-50 minutes. Brian and I call each other 3-6 times a day depending on what we are doing. What do we talk about? Not much-just everything. And then we talk when we are home. We probably talk too much. Sometimes there are things I know he doesn’t like to talk about; but I need to talk through them.
Our created job was to be our husband’s helpmeet. I know that looks different for different people and different situations. But I do know we were created to encourage them, build them up, help (ASSIST) them lead our family (another subject to write about). We were created for each other-we no longer belong to ourselves-our bodies belong to each other (again, a whole other subject!). No, your husband may not be a first-rate husband and father, he may be struggling to hit the top 10; but that doesn’t change your God-given responsibilities to him and to your family. Your obedience isn’t dependent on his.
Okay, I could go on and on about that, but I won’t; for now. :-P

I added the kids category more for me. Sure, I am with the kids all day. But am I really with them? We do school, we do chores, but how much “meaningful” time do I spend with them, just talking or doing a project together? Not as much as I should I have to admit.

So anyway, I hope you are up for the challenge! Take time to start the New Year out recommitted to your spouses and your families.

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