kitchen party

Okay, let’s see how much I can remember! The invitation said noon sharp, presents wrapped in tea towels (dish clothes). I got there at 2:45 or so and missed nothing-heck I was early. I think Henrich told them I was coming as everyone knew who this lone white woman was (yes, I was the only white person there all day). Lucy, Gladys and Christine were still not there.
As we arrived they trilled and whatnot to announce us. As soon as I got there, they took the gift, a gal grabbed Henry and they escorted me into the gym (it was at a boy’s high school gym). The music was so loud I could not hear the person next to me. I sat for a few minutes by myself, and then went out. They were worried I was lonely; I just said I couldn’t take the music. During this time various women were dancing here or there. They really have no inhibitions or reservations about dancing. It almost made me uncomfortable in my Western way-of-thinking mind. They were just having fun. They enjoyed when someone would really “get it on”, laughing and cheering and having a great time. One of these days Lucy said they were going to teach me to dance their way. See, to my Western mind though, I see the way they dance as having a very sexual connotation to it, probably because all the dancing is done below the hips. In the West, we would think they were “hussies” out on the floor. I will have to ask them about these sometime too.
Anyway, while we were all arriving, the bride-to-be was veiled waiting in the car for her entrance. Oh yes, everyone is supposed to have fun at the kitchen party, except the bride. She did not smile at all that I saw once we were all inside. Apparently she is supposed to look sad, because she is leaving her family. So she had to sit on the mattress on the floor without smiling or enjoying herself.
About 4 pm they begin serving the food. Quite a variety-it was okay-a little cool by the time we got through. But they had cold pop!! And kept coming around with it-I probably had 3 or 4 pops in two hours.
Finally about 4:40 pm the “committee” and her family went out to get her. They danced her in. She was under a blanket (think a Chinese dragon costume-could barely see her at all). She sat covered on the mattress on the floor between her two mentors that taught her how to care for her husband. Oh husband-back up. Henrich had to do a dowry-a suit for her dad, mom and a container for carrying min-coy-yo (sweet beer). They were planning to have a big wedding too a couple months ago, but someone in her family died, so they had to use all the money for the funeral. So they are finally doing a very simple “getting together” around the 21st.
So, the bride is in and there is dancing. Finally they say it’s time for the family to get the groom. Well, we are considered family, so out I went with the ladies to get Henrich. On the way in they sang a song asking God to be the leader in their marriage, and we danced him in. Yes, we. I did the white woman shuffle in with them. It’s going to take me a little more warming up to dance too much with them! Once up front we sang, than the MC brought out the basket to take offerings. Henrich had to pay to be able to lift her veil. The MC kept trying to drum up more money.
Finally Henrich puts in his money and they cheer. He then goes to her feet and rolls the veil very slowly up to her face where he is to look at her. They put hands on each other’s shoulders and finally he says “yes, this is my bride” to much cheers. (no smiles from her remember) They gave a big smooch and then that was done.
We go to sit down and now she wants to present him with a gift. She very slowly, sadly dances up to him and takes about 3 minutes to very slowly kneel in front of him and give him a gift. After this the couple dances out and Henrich leaves. The bride comes back in. Basically she is escorted everywhere and told what to do.
After this there is more eating, talking and dancing. About 5:30 we just have to leave. It is very hard to drive in the dark here. Everything is SOOO dark that when a vehicle comes to you, you are about blinded. Problem is, there are people often biking or walking on the side of the road. Very hard to see and very dangerous.
So, this is what we missed: The gifts are all laid out in front of the bride. They would have called my name and then I was supposed to go tell her what I got her. “This ladle is to dish out the relish for your husband’s meal” and so on. Everyone does that, because part of this is instructing a woman how to care for her husband. It looked like they had a very good party! The committee all puts so much money in for food, decorations, gift, etc. They got her a stove, Henrich’s family got her a fridge, I also saw a kitchen table and chairs, lots of dishes, cooking pots, etc. I thought I maybe brought too much, but I probably should have brought more looking at the things others brought. The kitchen party is a very big deal.
If I understood right, we also missed the part where the married women tell her how to “take care of her man”. There are no children there because of this, so I am only imaging what that may be!
Overall it was good. The music was just too loud for me, but otherwise it was fun. If I knew a few more people and what else was happening it would have been better. Don’t know when I will get to another party, but at least now I know what to expect!