some fun pics...

 

Someone smiling for Daddy in the hospital

Were they more excited for me to be home, or Lily??

Rub-a-dub-dub, three boys in the tub

FROM CYBIL MARIAH'S FORMAL

 

FIRST PICTURES

THE ESSENTIALS

 

A LITTLE BRUISED UP FROM COMING SO FAST

Charles never lived in Africa, but he sure did become a "back baby" :) 

Usually he just hangs on and the girls have to walk around until he falls asleep. 

He loves it!

ETAAM

There are still a few openings for the Early Trauma and Attachment Annual Meeting in Orlando, FL this coming March 8-11!!

I gotta tell ya...I have been exctied for this ever since I registered...in June!!!  I have already met moms all over the country and am so thankful for the encouragement and understanding I have already found.  I can't wait to meet them in real life!

If you have any questions, let me know and I will do my best to get them answered.  Otherwise, email Corey at the address below.  Would love to have you join us!

WHAT is ETAAM/Orlando?

ETAAM is a respite retreat designed for moms of kids with attachment (and related) disorders. It first started in 2010 with 9 brave women who flew from all over the US in search of support for their challenging lives. In 2011, 67 women were in attendance (including our first Canadians!) In March 2012, 90 women gathered. ETAAM was created by moms of kids with attachment disorders, and is run solely on a volunteer basis. It has become an invaluable community and an indispensable annual pilgrimage for many attendees.

WHO can attend ETAAM?

ETAAM is primarily for moms of kids with attachment and related disorders (PTSD, ASD, BPD, ADHD, and a host of other alphabet soup diagnoses). We have bio moms, adoptive moms, step moms, foster moms, and other female caregivers. We have moms that are currently parenting, moms whose children are not able to live at home, and moms who no longer have a child with a trauma history in their home. ETAAM is a child-free environment. If you are unsure whether ETAAM is right for you, please email Corey Waters at jcwaters2002@yahoo.com

  For more more FAQ, click here.

To read about the rooms/villas available, click here. 

Update--there is one quad in Hollywood ($85 lodging fee) and one king ($190), one queen ($190) and two doubels ($145 each) in Party Palace still available.   There is also a $175 fee for food, ground transportation, souvenirs and other misc.

Merry Christmas!!!

PS---IT'S A GIRL!!!!

GONE

The other night I cried myself to sleep at the realization that they were gone.  I am sure I will weep my way through this as well. 

Who is gone?  They are-our precious friends, the first twelve students from IBCZ.  The students Brian helped interview, drive to the school for their first class (all 12 plus their luggage and Brian in our landrover!), the students we grew with, who became big brothers to our children, who loved us and we them.  Who we had to say goodbye to, prayed with and for, had a happy reunion with a year later, sent letters back and forth to, become friends with on facebook. 

Now they are gone, their four years of training completed and ready to graduate.  While I am happy and proud of them, it is bittersweet in a way.

Since coming home 3.5 years ago, I at least, have kept up with them, reading blogs of people who have served or visited, looking at pictures and sharing on Facebook,  sharing letters…I have kept a little bit of a connection because they were still there.  A while back I decided that I would until they graduated, then I would really need to back away.  It was always a “pipe dream” to somehow make it back once before they graduated, or for graduation, but at the cost for our family to go…well, I’d have to win the powerball and I don’t play! (okay, I do every once in awhile-like when the lottery is $370 million or more, because my chances of winning are so much better as everyone else in the country is also playing…oh well, $1 to the wildlife fund I guess.)

The other night when I read that they had left the campus it hit me.  I don’t think I was quite ready to hear that as I was thinking they’d be there a little longer since graduation isn’t until the middle of January.  All of the sudden  it felt final; they were gone, and with them, a tie to that time of our lives.  I grieved because I always pictured myself there for their last day.  I grieved for my kids, who keep asking to go back, who don’t even understand what it means that this last string is now cut.  I grieve because I guess I feel forgotten, wasted, spent, changed in a way I didn’t want to be.  This wasn’t how this was suppose to end.

And yet I suppose I should be going through this grieving, maybe I should have years ago.  Maybe it would have been easier to have wiped it all away back then, but I couldn’t.  There is still a lot unexplained, unforgotten (unforgiven?) unsatisfying, undone, unknown, unanswered.  While there will always be good memories and friendships to remember, the ache will be there too.

"mom....who's that?"

This is Charles at the end of July. Now picture another one or so inches in the bangs up front.

Tonight Charles had his first haircut.  I picked up all the kids at church.  Hailey came out of her room, looked a second and said, "Mom, who is that?"

I know it has been a super-de-dooper long time since we posted anything.  Partly, that is because I have been a part of a Facebook Liberian Mamas group where a lot of conversation has been happening.  Part of it is laziness-Brian has written a thing or two, but I have to get around to typing it up!  A part is that as I do therapy with Joe, I am able to process a lot with the counselor so I don't have it in my head needing to get out.  And of course, there is just life.  Brian is crazy busy with work and now harvest, we started school and have the yearly appointments to get through. 
I know I am feeling this restlessness again (no, it is NOT about going anywhere-take a deep breath grandmas!), some questioning about things that are going on.  We'll see if they come out in words.  Thanks for still checking in, we'll get back to you again!  (no promise though of soon!)