I was wondering what happened to Jack & Judy's website until a note popped up on Facebook about a change with a link to this video.
It's long, but Judy did a great job on it! It's fun for us to see how our and your "stuff" is still being used in ministry (Brian really misses that truck!). I had some great plans I'm sure about what I was going to write, but that was almost a week ago, and it still hasn't happened :) So here it is anyway!
I don't know if I should even try to explain. Stuff is just stuff, I know. But there was something that Brian said as we watched. He said, "Seeing all that stuff, and it still being used, it helps it feel a little more like our time there wasn't a waste."
Sometimes we think of all the work, time, and money (and pain) that it took to get to Zambia, to be there, to leave and there is still pain and sorrow. But it wasn't all in vain-for us or for you. Your gifts are still be used to minister to people in Zambia, just in a new place and in new ways. Thanks again for your prayers, love, gifts, time. Even when we don't see or know what it is, God has a bigger plan!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Well, it’s been awhile since posting! Some days (most!) I just don’t feel I have anything to say and less time to say it. Other times I have too much to say. After writing and processing it, there’s a peace and it’s best to leave it there.
We’ve been doing the daily grind as usual with school and housework. Everyone is growing and just living life I guess (how original, eh?). The last few weeks since Christmas have been emotionally/mentally/spiritually exhausting so the body is feeling it too.
Many of you will remember that we took J down for some visits and testing at the U of Minnesota Intl Adoption Clinic. We got the preliminary results in a visit a couple weeks ago and are now waiting for the full report to read through and digest. He’s still doing speech therapy, occupational therapy and his play therapy with mom. We have made HUGE progress with him, and I have as well. I was seeing a counselor at the same time to continue to process all that was going on. If love is patient, love is kind, self-controlled, gentle and so on…then I definitely love him way more than I did before. I guess I have finally felt I’ve been forgiven for numerous things in the past related to him, and I am choosing to continue to believe even when I feel attacked-a voice says that forgiveness/forgiving myself is too easy. Sometimes it seems that I let this or that go too “easy.” I can step back and say if that was easy, I never want to see hard! It has been a tough process for me and him too I know.
Lately we’ve been dealing with A LOT of behavior issues as he progresses through his stuff too. Many, many times in the last two weeks he has regressed to a 3 year old behaviorally and mentally. When his anger flares it is even younger, sometimes around one. There were a few scary times too, but they SEEM to be behind us (praying!). It is draining to deal with these tantrums as they take a lot of my time, and they feel like we are letting him “get away” with things that were never problems before. It’s hard to keep perspective of a 3 year old in an 8 year old body. Of course the other kids all need me as well and they are missing the attention so they act out as well, especially the boys. I lose my patience with them easier as I am maybe just trying to push through dealing with J so that we get to the next step in his healing. In the last two or three days I’ve seen marked improvement from 5 days ago. The thought is that he will continue to come back around closer to his physical age as the relationship continues to get better. I know he’s gotta test it out to be sure the changes are gonna “stick”, but some days are really wowzer!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! to all those who have been praying for us! It is God that is keeping us a float through your prayers! We so appreciate it and ask that you continue to make mention of us to our YAHWEH ROPHE-the LORD WHO HEALS.
We’ve been doing the daily grind as usual with school and housework. Everyone is growing and just living life I guess (how original, eh?). The last few weeks since Christmas have been emotionally/mentally/spiritually exhausting so the body is feeling it too.
Many of you will remember that we took J down for some visits and testing at the U of Minnesota Intl Adoption Clinic. We got the preliminary results in a visit a couple weeks ago and are now waiting for the full report to read through and digest. He’s still doing speech therapy, occupational therapy and his play therapy with mom. We have made HUGE progress with him, and I have as well. I was seeing a counselor at the same time to continue to process all that was going on. If love is patient, love is kind, self-controlled, gentle and so on…then I definitely love him way more than I did before. I guess I have finally felt I’ve been forgiven for numerous things in the past related to him, and I am choosing to continue to believe even when I feel attacked-a voice says that forgiveness/forgiving myself is too easy. Sometimes it seems that I let this or that go too “easy.” I can step back and say if that was easy, I never want to see hard! It has been a tough process for me and him too I know.
Lately we’ve been dealing with A LOT of behavior issues as he progresses through his stuff too. Many, many times in the last two weeks he has regressed to a 3 year old behaviorally and mentally. When his anger flares it is even younger, sometimes around one. There were a few scary times too, but they SEEM to be behind us (praying!). It is draining to deal with these tantrums as they take a lot of my time, and they feel like we are letting him “get away” with things that were never problems before. It’s hard to keep perspective of a 3 year old in an 8 year old body. Of course the other kids all need me as well and they are missing the attention so they act out as well, especially the boys. I lose my patience with them easier as I am maybe just trying to push through dealing with J so that we get to the next step in his healing. In the last two or three days I’ve seen marked improvement from 5 days ago. The thought is that he will continue to come back around closer to his physical age as the relationship continues to get better. I know he’s gotta test it out to be sure the changes are gonna “stick”, but some days are really wowzer!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! to all those who have been praying for us! It is God that is keeping us a float through your prayers! We so appreciate it and ask that you continue to make mention of us to our YAHWEH ROPHE-the LORD WHO HEALS.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
identities
We all have numerous identities. The farmer, the banker, the doctor. The dad, the son, the sister, brother, etc.
I have had many identities in my life. In high school and bible school I was coach’s daughter and some others I won’t share ;-). Then I was Brian’s wife-the wife of a dairy farmer. I became Cybil’s mom, and then lots of babies’ moms! I was numerous things in the Willmar Mothers of Preschoolers group and at church, one of the well-known was the “organizer”. Then we of course became the (big family) missionaries who went to Africa. Throughout all this time, I was the mom of (4,5..8) who home schools and seems to be able to do it all with ease.
About 6 years ago, my identities were rocked, and rocked hard. Sure they had changed (single to married, working to staying at home), but then they were hit hard. Hard at was I who everyone (including myself) thought I was? Or at least perceived to be? And I am just now understanding what that rocking was.
I am a mom; that is who I am, what I do…and I didn’t (and still don’t always) see myself doing a very good job anymore.
I was a missionary, but now-well, I am back.
I have become the mother of Brian’s children, more than Brian’s wife.
What else do I have? Who am I? Am I anything else? Why is my identity tied to what I DO more than who I AM? Why do I judge who I AM based on how I am DOING it?
All I know is that I had/have begun to believe the lie that I am no longer doing a very good job at any of them. Based on what? On
the kids’ behavior? On my feelings? On the fact that I am where I am (physically) today.
Logically I know I am more than what my feelings will allow-I am. so. left. brained. My emotions do not connect to my knowledge a lot of the times. I rely on my logic so much, why should my feelings matter? Fake it till you make it, right? But there seems to be this aspect of feeling that is buried so deep, that the lies are believed there maybe. I have no problem believing something on the head level, but is my faith and trust truly behind it if I am not “feeling” it?
Yes, I know my identity in Christ. I am a daughter of the King, and I don’t want to discount that (logically). That is true but that is a whole other side that feels as if it has been rocked. I believed and followed through at a high cost, and whether just perceived or not, I feel my identity has changed in other’s eyes because of that too. Like that should matter, I know; but it does.
Because my children are seemingly my “it” right now-every function of life seems to revolve around them-what they do (it feels somewhere down deep) reflects on me. I have these standards and expectations for them that are mostly unrealistic. Standards for them that I don’t always hold to myself.
Grace. For whatever reason, my grace card with them isn’t very high, even for the littlest of mistakes (3+3=7). Stupid mistakes bother me with them and the sarcasm comes out (Really? 3+3=7? That’s what you learned 2 years ago in math?). Yet if I do something stupid like forget to subtract a check in the checkbook I just say “oops, forgot that one.”
How do I change this? Because I will always be their mom. This is where I have to choose to “walk out” my identity in Christ, but again that feels tattered still too. There is no intimacy, oftentimes I am only hanging on to the logic of it all. And I think that is enough, but it’s not all it is suppose to be. I am not looking for another thing to do to make myself a new identity either. I don’t want to start some new project so I can then be associated with that.
So without being too “Christian-eaze”, how do you deal with your identities-in Christ, as a mom, as a teacher/doctor/worker? How do you separate them? What do you do when you don’t feel you are doing one of them very well? When you struggle with the grace needed to do and be each of them? When you know that you are more than what you do but it just doesn’t feel like it?
I have had many identities in my life. In high school and bible school I was coach’s daughter and some others I won’t share ;-). Then I was Brian’s wife-the wife of a dairy farmer. I became Cybil’s mom, and then lots of babies’ moms! I was numerous things in the Willmar Mothers of Preschoolers group and at church, one of the well-known was the “organizer”. Then we of course became the (big family) missionaries who went to Africa. Throughout all this time, I was the mom of (4,5..8) who home schools and seems to be able to do it all with ease.
About 6 years ago, my identities were rocked, and rocked hard. Sure they had changed (single to married, working to staying at home), but then they were hit hard. Hard at was I who everyone (including myself) thought I was? Or at least perceived to be? And I am just now understanding what that rocking was.
I am a mom; that is who I am, what I do…and I didn’t (and still don’t always) see myself doing a very good job anymore.
I was a missionary, but now-well, I am back.
I have become the mother of Brian’s children, more than Brian’s wife.
What else do I have? Who am I? Am I anything else? Why is my identity tied to what I DO more than who I AM? Why do I judge who I AM based on how I am DOING it?
All I know is that I had/have begun to believe the lie that I am no longer doing a very good job at any of them. Based on what? On
the kids’ behavior? On my feelings? On the fact that I am where I am (physically) today.
Logically I know I am more than what my feelings will allow-I am. so. left. brained. My emotions do not connect to my knowledge a lot of the times. I rely on my logic so much, why should my feelings matter? Fake it till you make it, right? But there seems to be this aspect of feeling that is buried so deep, that the lies are believed there maybe. I have no problem believing something on the head level, but is my faith and trust truly behind it if I am not “feeling” it?
Yes, I know my identity in Christ. I am a daughter of the King, and I don’t want to discount that (logically). That is true but that is a whole other side that feels as if it has been rocked. I believed and followed through at a high cost, and whether just perceived or not, I feel my identity has changed in other’s eyes because of that too. Like that should matter, I know; but it does.
Because my children are seemingly my “it” right now-every function of life seems to revolve around them-what they do (it feels somewhere down deep) reflects on me. I have these standards and expectations for them that are mostly unrealistic. Standards for them that I don’t always hold to myself.
Grace. For whatever reason, my grace card with them isn’t very high, even for the littlest of mistakes (3+3=7). Stupid mistakes bother me with them and the sarcasm comes out (Really? 3+3=7? That’s what you learned 2 years ago in math?). Yet if I do something stupid like forget to subtract a check in the checkbook I just say “oops, forgot that one.”
How do I change this? Because I will always be their mom. This is where I have to choose to “walk out” my identity in Christ, but again that feels tattered still too. There is no intimacy, oftentimes I am only hanging on to the logic of it all. And I think that is enough, but it’s not all it is suppose to be. I am not looking for another thing to do to make myself a new identity either. I don’t want to start some new project so I can then be associated with that.
So without being too “Christian-eaze”, how do you deal with your identities-in Christ, as a mom, as a teacher/doctor/worker? How do you separate them? What do you do when you don’t feel you are doing one of them very well? When you struggle with the grace needed to do and be each of them? When you know that you are more than what you do but it just doesn’t feel like it?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
National Geography Bee
This past Wednesday Greta & Mariah participated in the area (home school) National Geography Bee. (I don't know if the public school here does it or not). It is for 4th-8th graders. Cybil & Mariah did it when they were in 4th/5th grades too.
The kids had a fun practice session a few weeks earlier. Mariah got 2nd place! Just one question made the difference. They both did a great job and I am really proud of Greta for doing it-that age range is pretty big and she said it was scary in front of all those people.
Some of the questions seemed just plain ridiculous, like who is gonna know that stuff?? Then some of it made me just realize how much info I take for granted. Like Wichita...everyone knows that is in Kansas, don't that???
The kids had a fun practice session a few weeks earlier. Mariah got 2nd place! Just one question made the difference. They both did a great job and I am really proud of Greta for doing it-that age range is pretty big and she said it was scary in front of all those people.
Some of the questions seemed just plain ridiculous, like who is gonna know that stuff?? Then some of it made me just realize how much info I take for granted. Like Wichita...everyone knows that is in Kansas, don't that???
Monday, November 28, 2011
Stationery card
Merry Moments Christmas Card
Create personalized Christmas cards at Shutterfly.com.
View the entire collection of cards.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
A few days ago Charles did the big first rollover to the screaming cheers of eight fans (Bri missed it). Here is his motivation--chewing on those fingers.
And...he made it.
And discovered it's not really all that exciting.
This morning Shera decided to lay down next to Henry and he grabbed her ear. Well, she of course wanted MORE attention. At one point he let go, so she was trying to "motivate" him to do some more but getting her nose under him. Later she put her head on his tummy, then her front paws and face. Very, very cute. But we probably won't be letting that happen anymore :) My 100lb dog on my 20lb baby isn't such a good idea.
This little curl was from a couple of weeks ago.
And...he made it.
And discovered it's not really all that exciting.
This morning Shera decided to lay down next to Henry and he grabbed her ear. Well, she of course wanted MORE attention. At one point he let go, so she was trying to "motivate" him to do some more but getting her nose under him. Later she put her head on his tummy, then her front paws and face. Very, very cute. But we probably won't be letting that happen anymore :) My 100lb dog on my 20lb baby isn't such a good idea.
This little curl was from a couple of weeks ago.
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