made me smile

I did my usual jaunt around the blogosphere checking out my favorite blogs. Got to this one, and it just made me happy. I don't know why.
Maybe it's because I see them working so well within their culture and the limitations and relevant expectations?

Darbi & Blu were missionaries with the International Mission Board (think Southern Baptists) in this area of Zambia a handful of years back now (Mapanza is west and south of Lusaka). They were there for two years, one of which they spent living in the bush in this area.
They went back to the States for Blu to finish seminary but had a heart for Zambia. Apparently others saw it too and they were greatly encouraged and gifted (financially) to start an orphanage back in the area they had served. This is the website for the orphanage.

We missed them by just a few months and they are now back in Zambia building the site. They are making their own bricks on site, they cut down their own trees and are putting up their own power lines, they have manual boreholes on site, they are working and building and finishing buildings... It just excites me to see the step by step process for them and how they are making it work. (Kind of how I got excited watching Zack's updates in Serenji-hey check out that fence!)

They got their tax exempt number in just a few short months. The biggest snafoo I have seen was a problem with their shipping container that arrived in 3 months-they had to unload it right away and couldn't keep the container. :( Even through that, God is clearing working through and blessing this family and ministry as they work in this new area.

New area, but yet not new-using the relevant building processes and working through government channels and business connections and accomplishing much. Way to go guys!

“I don’t want to think about it anymore. What good does it do?”
Does it do any good think about our time in Africa anymore? What should we be thinking through?
How long until some things stop effecting me? The other day Kel received an email from the couple that bought our stuff (container, household, and vehicle). They wrote to say that they made it over there and got out to the school and got the truck out of the container. That is all it took, Kel telling me about the truck. It triggered a whole host of emotions (anger, resentment, bitterness, sadness, remorse) all because I heard about my truck. Not my truck, their truck. Just like everything else that we brought over there, it all belongs to someone else now. It is a stupid truck… and I really, really liked it. Just like my house that I designed and built myself (with the help of some very special people). It is just cement, plaster, wood, and tin but it was my home, MY home. And some (bleep-bleep-bleep) took it all away. Or at least that is what I would like to think. But the truth is he didn’t. It doesn’t change his character, but he doesn’t have that much power. God is the one in control. He called us there and He called us out. My dilemma is: if I am going to be angry at someone, it would need to be HIM and no one else. But I don’t want to be angry with Him. All He has done is take care of every need we have had. He has and continues to bless us beyond measure for our obedience. I have been struggling with depression for the last month and the other day it struck me that this is the first time in the last 3 yrs that I am not preparing to go or all ready there, in Zambia. I am here with no intention of ever going back.
I am so thankful for the work the Lord has provided. It is something I really enjoy. Working out in the fields on the farm or taking care of people’s homes. I enjoy growing stuff. I think it is because it is something I can see, it is tangible, and it is life (when I have often felt dead). I like the fact that many of these people whose grounds I take care of have given me the freedom to do whatever needs to be done to make it look good. I do whatever needs to be done so they do not have to worry about it and all they have to do is enjoy it. It gives me the physical labor I need to work out my frustrations at times and when I’m done I can look at it and feel good about it and myself. I also enjoy the challenge of starting a business again and building it. It helps to work alone. I can think and talk to God and even vent to Him about what is going on in my head and heart. I just pray that some day in the near future I can start to feel like myself again.

It feels somewhat like we passed another small little test. Maybe went from K to 1st grade? If you’ve ever listened to Otto Keaning, 1st grade is as tough as high school though-so we’ve still got a lot to learn!
We (Bri) had made a hard decision about some things-and he was semi-excited about it I guess. It definitely wasn’t my first choice, and I let him know in some ways not so nicer than others. It was a little bit of plan forward, what looked like the next logical thing to do. Reluctantly and really only half-heartedly I really began to accept it. As soon as I did, I did begin to get just a little excited about it. Definitely not cheerleader stage-have had too many ups and downs for that.
Things then began to change in other ways too. I will say that this next step/plan had a lot of” if-thens” attached to it. And the plan is still there, maybe just on hold for now? We don’t know. Shortly after this though, Brian was given a nice sized raise at the development he takes care of. He also landed a private residence there, and may have one or two more in the works. This along with helping his dad on the farm has been more than enough to keep him busy each week. While it will vary some each week, he can easily get more than enough time in to pay the bills for a little while. So we still have a back-up idea anyway, but we aren’t going down that path yet. We also had some other good news pop up (more on that later).
How does that look like passing a test? Well, sometimes, maybe even often times, I think God just wants to know if we are willing. Willing to do something we really don’t want to. Something (or someone?) we don’t want to obey or follow. We firmly believe that because we both became willing to do something, God was pleased; He was glorified; and so rewarded us with a few good things.
Of course, now having written that, I had a pretty low two weeks-on the cusp of super miserable. Then about the time I start getting pulled out of it-hit a “breakthrough”, then Brian hits a low and it feels like I could easily spiral back down. Life is a roller coaster that I’d be happy to get off for awhile!

what's the point?

What’s the point of doing this silly (stupid?) blog anyway? Sometimes I wonder. There isn’t much we feel like saying lately, or at least anything we would want to post. And all bloggers know that in order to keep an audience you really need to write every other day or so. We usually don’t feel like doing that. What is it suppose to be about anymore anyway? We don’t really need to do the family update thing as we are near the grandparents. We don’t feel we are learning and living anything out too exciting and “spiritual” right now. (more on where that came from later) There is no passion, no drive, no nothing. We’ve lost readers I know because of it. Who wants to read someone else’s misery?
We’ve always tried to present an honest look at what it was like to go on the mission field, be on the mission filed, and now to come back. So that part of the “it” isn’t over. Basically we still continue to struggle with being here and what took place when we were there. Africa is now a part of us.
But “it” wasn’t really just about Africa. “It” is about walking out our faith. And we are, and still will keep doing that. Because no matter what-despite how much it hurts-we still have our faith in God. If this doesn’t make us lose it, I don’t think anything ever will!
So, yeah, we have been doing some writing now. (By the time you read some of them, they maybe a few weeks old) Some of it is very personal and truthful about what tricks and lies the devil is throwing at us and how HARD it is to resist them, to capture our thoughts. IT IS HARD. Some of these next ones may be a little brutal. But just as before, God is there and in it. He wants to hear it all-He’s big enough to handle it! And some will say, why not just journal for yourself then? Why put all these thoughts on the internet for the world to see? Because we are suppose to. Why? We don’t know. We know this blog isn’t only for us-it may be for you. But until we aren’t supposed to share online anymore, we will.
Thank you for coming along with us on our walk. We appreciate you and your prayers more than you will ever know!

anonymous

Just want to make it clear, that yes, you can post a comment anonymously.

I don't know if someone asked in a joking/sarcastic way :-) (like, can you ever really be anonymous??) or if they are serious, so I am answering.

If you look at the comments on the post before this, it just says "Anonymous", so no-I really have no idea who posted it. I do have to publish or reject any comment that you leave, but I can honestly tell you I don't think I have ever rejected a comment. We just check to be sure names aren't named or that there is no swearing or so forth.

So comment away!

“Fear is the thief of dreams and destiny."

What else does fear do to us? What does it (has it) stolen from you? How do you conquer your fear?

"Worry more about your character than your reputation. Character is what you are, reputation merely what others think you are." - John Wooden

We’ve really had to chew on this and live it. We have definitely decided that for us, our character-our integrity, is far more important than what others think about us. But that DOES NOT mean it is easy. Of course we sometimes think about what others think about us. And we know some of those things; we know some are lies, and some of it is true. For the most part though, we are letting (or at least trying very hard!) God defend us.

So, what about you? How important is your reputation to YOU? What are you willing to do (or not do) to keep your reputation? Reputation to who? Others? God?

What is your character (what is included in that)? What do you do to protect that? How do you protect?

How else can you explain the difference between reputation and character?

“The manager is satisfied with the status quo, the Leader challenges it.”

For the past two weeks our Pastor did a short Sunday school class on leadership. So, so many times I thought of our situation and the leadership that went along with that. So, here is a quote from someone (?) about leadership. What do you think? What other attributes do leaders have? What shouldn’t they have? Why do you do when you around a great leader? Under one who is “less than great”?

Comments please! They can be anonymous too, so don’t worry-we don’t have to know who you are!